Short Story- I Adjusted Myself

101-C-Vikas Colony,

Patiala-Punjab-India-147003.

I adjusted myself ?

It is on record that my school record had got mention in so many registers maintained by he school and even the district administration had given so many certificates and testimonials. Some news papers had given reports that in spite of all the hurdles in my way, I could make my positions. And similar had been my record in college and then in the training institute from where I completed my B.Ed. and then M.Ed. I had got interest in teaching and even my parents realized that I have got my aptitude in teaching, they tried that I should get the line in which I was interested.

It was obligatory for me to shift from the house of my parents to the house of my in laws and therefore, my parents were also preparing me for the house of my in laws and they had been telling me that I shall not be getting the same atmosphere in that house and there are chances that they all may not recognize my qualifications, my achievements and my further desires and they may ask me to work at the house like a domestic servant. Even some of my friends who had been married were not having a good experience of the house of their in laws and they had been telling me that the people in the house of their in laws are not realizing that they are educated girls and therefore, she must be given due place in the house. They told me that the people in the house of in laws are not giving any respect nor they realize that their brides are also like their own daughters.

I myself had seen so many Hindi films and I had noted that the mother in law in each house is the first lady to create all the troubles. She had got her own place and position in the house and she would not like that another lady should come and may take the place which had been occupied by this old lady. She does not want that the love and affection which had been available to her should be divided or shared by some one else. Similarly the sisters in law are also not willing to see that their own brother may be having attraction and devotion towards a new comer in the house. Similar had been the position in each film where the brides already present would not tolerate that some new comer may have a better place in the house. They are protecting their own rights and positions which they could attain because of their own struggle and suffering.

All these situations were very strange for me, but this was a reality of life that every Indian girl shall have to face, because after marriage, it is compulsory here that the bride should join the house of her husband and should spend the remaining part of her life there. I could also understand that after marriage, this house of her parents shall become a strange house for her and she may come here as a guest for some days, but none in the house shall like or tolerate that she may stay here permanently.

I had got relations with so many boys, but none could attain the status of my ‘boy friend’. I was desiring a boy who should be from our religion, from our caste, from our known people, and I was also desiring that the boy should be having proper education, proper training and proper adjustment at work from where he is carrying proper income which he should be able to establish a family and may be able to carry on further responsibilities in life. I wanted to create and establish love affairs, but I did not because, I had got a fear in my mind that ultimately the will of my parents shall function and therefore, the boy should be of their liking and not of my liking.

My friends had been suggesting me some of their relatives and even Meena suggested the name of her own brother who had done MBA and was with an established organization having income in four figures. But I could not like him and I still do not know why I could not like him. From amongst my boy friends, one Rajesh was very near to me and once he had suggested for marriage too. I could not give him suitable answer, because he was not from our caste. The people at my house were not willing to have relations with those who had been declared as backward class by the state itself. I had not got such restrictions, but as I have already stated, I was not in a position to say ‘no’ to my parents.

I was lucky enough when my parents searched a boy who was in the army having the rank of captain. When I utilized my own resources, I came to know that the boy in question had been with me in my college for a year and during this period he had been having some relations with me. When we met to have a talk on the subject, we both met as friends and all present were surprised to note our old relations and contacts. I told that the boy is Rohit and he had been with me in college in the last year of graduation and we both had been having tuition with one lecturer in the subject of Chemistry. Parents from both the sides were happy to note that the new would be couple have relations and they shall be having no difficulty in life.

I informed Rajesh and he tolerated all this because he was having all information about his own caste and about my caste and came out with a conclusion that this relation shall be good and better for me. He wished me good luck and after that date, he never came near to me nor I ever tried to meet him.

On my marriage, the parents of my husband were demanding some dowry, but my husband Rohit was against this dowry system and therefore, he declared that the marriage shall be simple and there shall be no transfer of dowry from the side of my parents. This was a very simple marriage and all present were happy to note this change and all were appreciating my husband Rohit and his parents who accepted the command of their son and did not demand dowry.

In the house I found that Rohit had got one elder brother and one younger brother. The elder brother rattan Chand was running a confectionery shop and was married having one small son. The younger brother Mohit was in college in T.D.C.III year. He had got one sister Meenakshi who was married at another station. My mother in law Parbati was about sixty years and my father in law Khushhal Chan had already retired as Tehsildar. So the family was well set up. I did not care what was in the mind of my mother in law. But she had accepted me without dowry, I had got great respect and regard for this lady. I came to know that she was a graduate from Punjab University and was in service prior to her marriage. I started creating friendship with this old lady because she was the centre around whom the whole family was functioning. I had been showing her all my certificates and testimonials. I had been telling her all my achievements while in school, in college and while in the training institute. I told her that my parents had been handing over all their earnings to me and I had been running the house. I told her that I had been teaching all my younger brothers and sisters at my house and we never engaged a tuition for them. And actually I stated giving tuition to the son of my brother in law. Wife of my brother in law was happy that her son could get a teacher at the house. I started serving all the three elders. I had been taking all care of my mother in law, my father in law, my brother in law and the younger brother in law could come to me and discuss his problems in the college and in his study work.

My sister in law had been with us for some days and now she had gone back to her own in laws. As and when she came here, I started creating friendship with her. I had been taking her to the market and to all her friends whom she wanted to meet. We had been having some purchases and I never forgot that all in her family should get one item each. Once my sister in law said,” Bhabiji, why you are so sweet?” My simple reply was,” You all are very sweet. You all are having all love and regard for me. I am feeling that I am living in my own parents’ house. My father in law is like my own father and he is taking complete care and is always looking at my face noticing that I am happy and I have got no trouble.” My sister in law was not having such days with her in laws, but she wanted to keep his troubles far away from me. Somehow I could initiate talks with her,” Every bride is not lucky like myself. I am thankful to God who selected for me such a family. Your people present in the house have taken me as their own daughter and that is the reason I could adjust myself here without any difficulty. I am nobody to advise your. But still I should tell you something to act upon. You should try to come close to each one and you should make it sure that you would never make a complaint about the behaviour of any one in the house with you. You should start appreciating each one and when your husband comes back from his work place, you should allow him to have talks with his mother, with his father or with any member with whom he wants to have a talk. You should never try to establish that this man who was their man yesterday has become your man and now this man has got no concern with any member in the family. Such a course is the main cause of all the disturbances in the joint family system/” I noticed that my sister in law was listening to all what I had said and I also noticed that she had accepted my advice.

This time I wanted to accompany my sister in law, when she was going back to the house of her in laws. I stayed with her for two days and I noticed her mother in law, her father in law, her brother in law and sister in law, all were happy with me and they thanked me that I had brought back their bride. They offered me so many things when I was coming back and her mother in law passed the last remarks, “ I think you belong to a very good family. I hope you would turn this family like one as your family is. I hope this Meenakshi shall learn a lesson from you and she would remain with us like a permanent member of this family.”

When I was back at my home, all were happy. All received me with open hands and my mother in law took me in her arms and had been giving sweet kisses to me for at least five minutes and then said,” The people who could get a daughter in law like you are the most lucky people. The problems which we had been facing for the last three years has been solved by you.”

My husband was proud of me and said,” For the first time in my life I could see a girl who can act like men in the family. I had got one worry in my mind and now I can believe that my wife shall be solving all the problems attached with my sister. We had been suffering for the last three years because my sister Meenakshi was not well and now we are receiving phone calls from her and she is happy there.” He took me in his arms and we both had been in our bed room and had been having pleasant talks which we never had shared before.

My father in law and my elder brother in law both were happy with me and they decided to give me a new entry in the house and we celebrated new welcome for me on that day. I was given a cake to cut on that date and we all were present to celebrate this occasion. My father in law had a special phone to my father and remained talking to him for five minutes and whatever he said, gave booster to me and such words had been giving me courage to live on and help this family. In fact, I do not know that I belong to another family.

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Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.

101-C-Vikas Colony, Patiala-147003.

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